posted on: April 29, 2013
author: Brian Lomax, Ed.D.
It’s amazing what a little encouragement can do for a competitor. I was standing in the locker room talking to a fellow player after a grueling match in the National 45 and over Clay Court Tennis Championships in Ft. Lauderdale last week. My body was exhausted. My shoulder was screaming in pain. And my next match was going to be tough … very tough. At that moment, I wasn’t sure I was up for the competitive challenge. But then a funny thing happened.
That fellow player I was speaking with said I could win the match. We talked a bit more about the specific matchup, and the idea of winning started to come together in my mind. I began to visualize how it could happen. I saw myself competing with great intensity and confidence. I thought to myself “if this guy thinks I can do it, then maybe I can!” At that moment, I committed myself to doing everything I could to win that match. I thanked him for his kind words of encouragement, and then used them for the rest of the day to visualize the kind of tennis I needed to play to be successful.
I am highlighting this brief exchange for a couple of reasons. Encouragement is a critical factor in confidence. As competitors, coaches, parents, etc., we shouldn’t be afraid to give it. It is truly a gift to those on the receiving end. And it’s a gift that the competitor needs to be willing to listen to and receive. Be open to it and do not dismiss it. Even if the encouragement seems irrational, it’s always better to believe that you CAN do something rather than thinking you can’t.
And to wrap up our little story, I won that match the next day in 3 hours. It was one of the biggest wins of my tennis career. A few words of encouragement took me from a place where I wasn’t sure I wanted to compete to believing I could win to actually pulling it off. That’s a powerful transformation and a hugely satisfying one. Try spreading some encouragement today and see what powerful transformations you start to create.
Dr. Brian Lomax founded PerformanceXtra™ in 2009 with a mission of helping athletes achieve their goals and their top performances more consistently through a progression of mental skills that enables them to focus on what is truly important.
Learn more about the author: https://performancextra.com/brian-lomax/