The Desire to Win

posted on: March 29, 2024
author: Brian Lomax, Ed.D.

The best competitors in the world seem to have a maniacal desire to win, which in difficult times, enables them to overcome the challenges of the moment, and to succeed more often than not. Think about Michael Jordan, Novak Djokovic, Serena Williams, Tom Brady, Rafael Nadal, and Monica Seles. All of these athletes were able to channel their desire to win into productive actions that gave them a chance of emerging victorious, no matter the circumstances.

So naturally, having a strong desire to win is a key component of being competitive in tennis. That is obvious, and you might even think it’s easy to do. However, it is actually quite difficult. Players from the juniors all the way to the pros struggle with this skill. Great competitors are able to make a connection between their desire to win and their actions on the court. They are able to balance the desire to win and the fear of losing with a relentless approach to learning and improvement.

The Mission Before the Match

When you step on the court, your mission is (and should be) to win the match. Therefore, everything you do and think before the match should be in service of the mission. Again, this might be obvious, but staying connected to this mission and doing what it takes to win will be challenged in many of the matches that you play. Becoming overly focused on the result as opposed to the process of how to play is always a danger. Here are some difficulties that you may face that are rooted in result and performance based thinking.

The Mission of “Not Losing”

Although you know the mission is to win the match, you may find yourself inadvertently adopting the mission of “not losing.” This is extremely common and often occurs when a player faces an opponent that they think they should beat.

In this case, the majority of thoughts are on the potential negative consequences of losing. Based on this perspective, the brain constructs emotions that are meant to protect the player from these undesirable consequences.

However, those emotions make the situation worse. The player is overcome with fear, their body chemistry is corrupted to the point that they can’t think right or control their muscles well, and they have no sense of what to do on the court. They’re miserable and want out of the situation. This description is the most extreme example of what happens when the mission is “not losing,” and it can occur to lesser degrees.

So, before a match, the question you must ask yourself is, “What is my mission?” Is it to win, or is it to not lose? Awareness of your thoughts in this moment is important. If you are focused too much on a mission of “not losing,” you will probably struggle to find your best competitive level, and losing becomes much more likely.

The Mission of “I have to win”

Another common mistake players make in terms of the mission of a match is to believe that they “have to win.” This is an irrational belief that exaggerates the consequences of losing.

Nothing truly terrible is going to happen to you if you lose a match, but believing that there will be catastrophic consequences for losing will only put more pressure on you. In general, players perform worse when they feel high levels of pressure.

Other unhelpful missions include: I should win, I need to win, winning is all that matters, I can’t lose.

Challenging Situations and Opponents

Other situational stressors can have an impact on your desire to win. Examples are matches with perceived consequences (finals, important team matches), when someone you want to impress is watching, and when your opponent is someone you don’t enjoy playing against. In these situations, you may notice that your mission to win the match is inadvertently changed to something less productive.

The example of playing against someone you don’t like can be particularly challenging as you might not want to even play the match. The stress of this situation can be very strong, and the idea of trying to win may not be present in your mind at all. Instead, your emotions prepare you to avoid this situation as best you can. Even though you have an opportunity to improve how you deal with difficult people, you don’t see the situation that way.

The Mission During the Match

Many players are able to start a match with the right mission, but circumstances during play can change that. Again, the root cause is often result and performance based thinking.

The Score

The score during a match is one of the biggest distractions that a tennis player must learn to manage. Too much focus on the score can alter your decision making, your mission, your effort and fight, your enjoyment, your body chemistry, your presence on the court, and your confidence and belief. A decrease of level in these controllable behaviors will lead to an overall inconsistent level of play.

A classic example of the score changing a player’s thinking is closing situations in matches. Let’s say that the score in the set is 5-2. You have done well to get to this moment. You’re close to winning the set, but now you’re too focused on the score. Consequently, you begin to think about protecting the lead (not losing), or that you “have to” win this game. Result: You just changed the mission.

This new mission will make it harder to play effective tennis. Without being aware of it, you will change a winning game in favor of something less optimal. You may still win the set, but notice how hard it was to maintain that desire to win in this situation. Your obsession with results inhibited your ability to play, and it impeded your ability to improve your performance in these moments in the future.

There are many other situations in which the score challenges your desire and mission to win the match. It could be within a game and you’re up 40-0 or down 0-40. What are you thinking in this moment?

When you are down a set and a break, are you still fighting and giving your best effort, or are you going through the motions and just waiting for the match to end? Even though the match is not officially over, it’s possible that your belief is low and you are behaving as if you have already lost. You’re not giving it your maximum effort. On a scale of 1 to 10, your desire to win is below an optimal level.

Injury and Illness

Whenever you have a pre-existing injury, suffer an injury during a match, or feel ill going into a match, you have to determine if you can play or not. This can be a difficult decision, and I am not suggesting that you should always play through illness and injuries. There will be some physical issues that you should not play through.

However, illness and injuries can be the perfect excuse for retiring and avoiding losing, or for why you lost a particular match. You can abandon the mission to win the match in favor of an excuse for why you didn’t. You didn’t win, but your self-esteem is intact because you had a great excuse. How could anyone expect you to win when you were sick or hurt, and clearly not at your best?

Warning: Be careful about making excuses for why you didn’t perform well. Excuses are not usually the truth.

After suffering an injury during play, some players may retire immediately even though they could continue, while others may carry on, but go through the motions. At times, the latter response can be admirable, but you have to balance the seriousness of the injury and your ability to be competitive when deciding on the right course of action for you. Whatever you decide, commit to that course of action so you can be proud of yourself afterward.

How to Maintain a Strong Desire to Win

Awareness of all of the above challenges is necessary in the process of maintaining a strong desire to win. Quite simply, connect with what you want (to win the match) and then do what is important in the next moment. We could even put this into an IF/THEN algorithm:

IF I want to win, THEN I will ________________ (fill in the blank).

Fill in the blank with controllable, process-oriented actions that contribute to the mission. Breathing, active feet, taking time between points, following the game plan, upbeat attitude, confident body language, etc. are all examples of productive controllable actions. Discover the key behaviors that work for you. Create IF/THEN statements for the specific challenges that you face. Make learning and improvement a priority.

Additionally, refer back to previous posts on how not to lose, and how to earn the win for more specifics on maintaining your desire to win. Constantly check in with your desire and rate it from 1 to 10. If it drops below 7, you need to do something to raise your level.

In the end, you want to be proud of yourself. You want to leave the court knowing that you played with a great attitude and you gave it your all. That’s personal satisfaction. It’s all that you or anyone else can ask of you when you step on the court.